White Ribbon Campaign

 

In a room where people unanimously maintain a conspiracy of silence, one word of truth sounds like a pistol shot  - Cseslaw Milosz

It’s time we looked at everything candidly and honourably. This White ribbon is not just to appear as if we are doing something. It’s about making a difference.

The campaign is not about vilifying men, nor must we ever let it be. Nor is it saying that women are weak, not able to speak up or stand up for themselves or that every man is aggressive in some way.

My opinion is that a man is more likely to come to a woman’s aid and be a knight in shining armour than to do anything that would hurt or debase her.

The white ribbon is about messaging and speaking out to protect women and girls when they need it and crucially when they want it.

Hubby came home a couple of weeks ago and told me about a horrible incident he witnessed in the town. A man had his hands around a woman’s throat in full view of the public. When he intervened and asked the woman if she was okay and needed help, the man simply said ‘this is my wife’ as if it was somehow okay. Hubby ignored him and continued to ask the woman if she needed help and she just said. No thankyou please, I am okay.

The white ribbon campaign is a strong message to say this is not okay, this is horrific and we will not look the other way.

Across every culture, race, town, religion, age group etc, domestic violence exists in many forms and it’s this I wish to speak about, having been subjected in a previous life to 11 years of physical and mental abuse. Mental abuse can be just as damaging with the drip drip feed of clever control and manipulation .

its a very difficult and complex area, as my hubby’s incident bears out, and every woman is completely unique in how they feel about intervention.

When I was going through it I didn’t want anyone to report anything. What I did want was someone to talk to and to be there when I was finally ready to leave. It took years and a lot of courage but when it’s time, the strength comes. I also think it requires a commitment to look at the problems from every angle.

To this end, I feel that the men who commit these crimes must be given help with their anger to stop them from such acts.

And we cannot pick and choose what crimes we are not willing to turn a blind eye to. Problems are not solved unless they are admitted and fully understood so we must look at all forms of abuse that happen everywhere.

There are at least 200 million women and girls alive today in the world who have been subjected to FGM.

Forced marriages often involve parents planning to take children abroad under the pretext of a holiday only for the child to be forced to marry someone, often much older and never to return. This is modern slavery and there are ways to spot potential acts like this.

Grooming gangs have caused untold misery, depression, despair to thousands of victims, some of whom I have been in private contact with on twitter.

The after effects are far more reaching than you could possibly imagine including having to leave their town, having their children taken away and being in constant fear of retribution.

It’s up to all of us to have no fear or favour when calling out abuse.

There is much to be done.

Without knowledge, action will be diminished and without action the knowledge is just a side show so let’s make the white ribbon more than a pinned piece of material.

We must not stay silent so that others will feel comfortable. That’s not our job.